Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Alone With My Thoughts

I have a hard time understanding people, who cannot, will not, live alone.  
This is especially mind bending to me since, when living in a town or community, as most people do, there is always someone you can practically put your hand through a wall and touch. 

Even on the farm, I was constantly taking long walks to be alone…to experience peace and quiet.

But honestly, is anyone really ever alone?

I was a TV junkie growing up.  Always in the background.  I needed that mind numbness then.
Now when I don’t need it, still I find myself turning on the tube for no reason, especially in the morning, to see what is going on in the world.  Just a habit.  I can usually only watch 15 minutes of it these days.
The rampant stories of stupidity, greed and fear can seep in quietly and poison your thoughts.
Why do broadcasters choose to interview people who nearly lost their lives doing stupid things for 15 minutes of fame?  Scary thought that there must be people out in the world who actually relish listening to this crap and so boost the TV shows ratings.  Why else do they show it?

The poison starts seeping into the psyche before you realize…”hey, just turn it off!”

I admit, I am hooked on the mind numbing, but fun ramblings of Hoda and Kathie Lee. They are much more enjoyable companions.  Who needs more doom and gloom.  Let’s laugh instead.

And even if physically we are alone and turn off the TV, the iPod and computer, our mind never seems to leave us alone. 

You find yourself looking at a beautiful, quiet foggy morning and maybe for 10 seconds you just enjoy, but then you start thinking, boy, this is great photography weather, should be taking shots, and then thoughts bring to mind that mysterious graveyard you saw years ago in Plymouth and what wonderful shots you could have gotten…if you had been a photographer back then, but then again, there is that nice old cemetery across town and that’s that.  Your brain is just chattering away.  But at least they are interesting and creative thoughts.

My mind is my constant companion that needs an off switch most days.
Thoughts on beautiful photographs are one thing. 
Negativity, fear, and insecurity are another.

Every human being seems to deal with all these issues one time or another...even the famous and rich, so I hear.

Logically, you realize so many people have so much more to worry about than you do.
But does that help?  No.
We are all born with the worry gene.  The "what if" phrase....
And we all have pesky thoughts that spring up just when you are just starting to enjoy the new day.

Sometimes you just have to say "shut up" to that chattering brain...and move on.
Do I see meditation in the future?
Sounds refreshing.

Then again just sitting here writing, I am just hearing the sounds of the sheep baaa-ing across the ravine.  And then … a quail chirping.
Stop. Listen.
Now that is my form of meditation.  Guess it always has been.

Then again... a million dollars sure would shut up that chattering brain quite nicely too.

                                                                                     copyright Stepka 2011